how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
