pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
