Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize