oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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