I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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