Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
