This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
