If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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