So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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