Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
