pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
