doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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