Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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