yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
