Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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