Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
