by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
