so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
