you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize