how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize
