Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
