I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
