so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
