how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize