Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
