There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
