Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
