That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize