I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I want her autograph on my taint
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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