Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
