just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
