you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
