I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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