Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
