I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
