sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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