But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
