We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
