so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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