the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
