if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
