i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
