she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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