The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
