There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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