were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
