Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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