he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize