What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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