bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
