I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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