i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
