dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
