my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
