Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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