You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
