oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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