just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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