A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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