brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize